


Never Give a Cat Caffeine

by Kira_Serket



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6200353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kira_Serket/pseuds/Kira_Serket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cats+Caffeine is never a good idea</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [strippedcheeta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strippedcheeta/gifts).



> In memory of strippedcheeta  
> Rest in fucking pieces ho  
> that's what you get for chugging two different energy drinks

Kuroo prides himself in being smart and making good decisions. He’s in class five, captain of the volleyball team, and has lead his team to nationals. 

But despite all these accomplishments, he can also be really stupid sometimes. For example:

It wasn’t very smart to wake kenma up early on saturday to get coffee before practice. And it wasn’t a good decision to send the sleep deprived grumpy cat to pick up their orders.

“Here.”Kenma said, thrusting the styrofoam cup in his left hand at kuroo as they left coffee world and made their way to practice. Kuroo mumbled a thanks and started sipping his coffee but paused when he noticed the flavor. He didn’t order a vanilla flavored coffee. He quickly pulled off the cap and saw that the liquid was a a light beige color.

“Hey kenma, i think you gave me your cup by accident.” Kuroo said, dragging his eyes away from the cup to his friend but it was too late.

Kenma had already downed the entire drink.

The look on the setters face was similar to a cat who landed in a bucket of catnip.

Before anyone could even blink, kenma took off running the rest of the way to the Nekoma gym.

It took kuroo a couple of seconds to realize what just happened then ran after his caffeinated friend.

When kuroo finally reached the gym he rushed to open the door but stopped at the noise that was coming from behind the door. It sounded like someone was getting murdered, high shrill screams were heard coming out; thankfully no one was on campus, the police would have been called at the sound of the disturbing noises.

He quickly wrenched the door open and was greeted with a unimaginable scene.

Balls were laying on the ground, even some of the team members were down there too in fetal position trying to protect their heads. Lev was next to the source of the chaos; trying to calm kenma down while he kept setting balls in every direction, shouting something that sounded similar to ‘ball is life’.

Kuroo was so shocked at what he was seeing that he didn’t notice the angry person making their way to him.

“what the hell did you do to kenma!” yaku yelled at him.

“It was an accident!”kuroo rushed to explain before he could get beat by the short libero. “We went to get coffee, i ordered an espresso with a double shot while he got a decaf vanilla latte, and kenma must have accidentally drank mine but by the time i noticed he had already finished it.”

Yaku seemed to have accepted the explanation but he still looked mad. Then something grabbed their attention.

A high pitched screech echoed in the gym and when kuroo and yaku turned their heads to see where it came from, their eyes landed on Lev

Apparently kenma didn’t take too kindly to Lev trying to stop his ‘practice’ so he began to climb up the taller boys’ body until he was sitting on his shoulders then proceeded to pull Lev’s hair causing the boy to scream.

“He’s mcfreakin lost it.” Kuroo whispered to himself as yaku went to help the poor giant.


	2. Crash and Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by true events
> 
> I'm gad you guys liked the first chapter, i appreciate all the kudos, comments, and hits it got
> 
> p.s we chased a cat while my sis was still high, we wanted to fight it then got scared when a moth flew at her cuz she thought it was coming to get her

It took two hours and the entire nekoma team before they were able to pull Kenma off of Lev and get him to sit down next to the doors.

The gym was a mess but the players still tried to have practice even with their main setter incapacitated.

“I’m so tired Kuro” kenma whispered to his friend.

_Ah, he must be crashing,_ Kuroo thought. “It’s ok kitten, take a nap, i’ll watch over you.”

Kenma nodded at that and shut his eyes. Kuroo leaned forward to brush his friends’ hair out of his face when Kenma’s eyes flew open and he let out a shriek causing kuroo to fall on his ass startled.

“What’s wrong?” yaku asked making his way over to them.

“He’s missing an eye!” Kenma exclaimed, pointing at Kuroo

The gym turned silent before everyone broke out into laughter.

“Hahaha! He thinks you’re missing an eye because of your terrible bedhead!” Yamamoto said roaring with laughter

“Ha ha, very funny” Kuroo said to his team then turned to the frightened boy, “I’m not missing an eye, it’s right here” he moved his fringe to the side.”

“Was it always there?” kenma asked

This causing the team to erupt into more laughter.

“I bet we can have fun with this.” Yamamoto whispered to Lev then turned back to their setter.

“It’s a giant spider!” he screamed with a scared look, pointing at the wall.

Kenma screamed again and launched himself at kuroo causing them both to fall down.

Yamamoto started laughing again until yaku kicked him hard causing him to crumple to the ground. “Go do suicide runs until you drop.” Kuroo told him

yamamoto whined at that but the look he got from the captain shut him up.

“Go to sleep kenma, you’ll feel much better.” kuroo said, picking him up and laying him on the ground, using a jacket as a pillow.

Kenma nodded at that and closed his eyes again. Kuroo waited next to him for a couple more minutes to make sure he was really asleep before joining the rest of the team for practice.

Everything was going smoothly for an hour until they started hearing weird hissing noises coming from the door.

They turned around and saw the cause of it.

Apparently kenma had woken up and was hissing at a cat.

“Kenma um what- what are you doing?” yaku asked

“It wants to fight me” was the reply they got before kenma got up and rushed at the cat causing it to flee.

“And that’s my cue to leave” kuroo said jogging over to his friend.

“Let’s go home kitten, you’ve had enough excitement for one day”

Kenma nodded and yawned, feeling sleepy again.

“See ya later guys” kuroo said to his team, waving good bye then picked up kenma, who was too tired to move, bridal style.

The team waved good bye with a couple shouts of ‘i hope you feel better’ and ‘don’t fight anyone else’.

The pair eventually made it back to kuroo’s house without too much trouble. (A butterfly flew at kenma causing him to freak out again and almost get dropped)

The next time he woke up, kenma was sane again but still tired as hell.

“What the fuck happened today?” he asked not being able to fully remember the events that had transpired earlier in the day

“Welcome back kenma.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, story done.
> 
> I might make another one for the owls cuz this dumb ho did it again and stole my energy drink after she finished hers.

**Author's Note:**

> if you guys want, i'll make a second chapter with kenma crashing, my sis is and its hilarious so i have plenty material to work with.


End file.
